Long time no update

And that's because our house has been filled with a lot of this type of fun:



and...this too...



and our days have been busy going places like here:


So I haven't been blogging. Just getting used to being a mom of two and being home instead of the office. I have a post planned to talk about the wee one's birth at home... want it to be crafted well so I can send it to our birth instructor - but it is on its way.

On the job front: Some exciting things may be a-brewin'... a move to happen in the next few months likely. But for now, I'm enjoying this summer/maternity leave business. We have a kiddie pool in the backyard next to our neighbor's slip'n slide and a used a/c system we found at a yard sale in our bedroom. Heat can't kill us this summer.

what is Wikipedia?

I was reading over herea post called Old English Anachronism On the Wikipedia and in a couple of comments, in discussing the off/odd orthography used, posters were writing such things as

"I think the use of yogh at Wikipedia (and various other sites, in fact).."

"The anachronism at the Old English Wikipǽdia is inexcusable."

Interesting to think of Wikipedia as a site, as in a location or locale in cyberspace, isn't it?

I have always written or said, "on Wikipedia" like nearly everything "on the Internet" is "on my computer" rather than outside of it in some sort of ethereal space.

On Facebook. On twitter. On myspace. As in, I read it on Facebook, on her myspace page, on my twitter feed.

Of course, you can

Go to Facebook, twitter, myspace. In one sense, I suppose this makes it a space or place to go to. And thus, a place where you could be "at."

Interesting, though, we don't say, go look it up "in the Wikipedia." Might say, "you'll find your answer in the in the Wiki" but you could just as easily, in my AmE or Canadian English dialect say "updating his entry on the Wiki" - again, bringing it back to a thing upon which we write, edit, mark, and remark. Not unlike a paper document. You can search "in a book," and even "line by line in a paper" or "say something unclear in an article." Again, not making them a place, but a context or a collection of ideas to peruse through, ie, "go through the Canadian journal for missing u's."

But, these folks are really taking Wikipedia to or making Wikipedia a different place with "at." Which makes me wonder a bit about what it is. If it is a site, one that we excavate or can dwell within, what does that say about our relationship to the Internet and its power?

So many questions, so few of them relating to the work I need to do this morning.

Finding God in this

I met with students a couple of weeks ago. I made these meetings mandatory and I think I ended up meeting with most of my students. I really don't think I could have imagined learning as much as I did with these meetings. I learned a lot about highschool and university curricula. I like to learn, especially about teaching, even if it takes five days of back to back meetings. I feel like I'm a better able to serve these and future students. In fact, it helped me yet again to see why I do this job when research/writing seems slow. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it was a confirmation of my vocation as a professor, but it certainly helped to show me that I help, and that the things I do actually teach.

On the career front it's been an enlightening few weeks for our family.

• Husband enrolled in a course. It's going to be pretty demanding, but it's just a warm-up for now. He's applied and will possibly be in school full-time in September.
• I found out I didn't get a job I applied for. Why? Likely because I forgot to include a Crucial Document with my application. Market being what it is, I assume my application was thrown out. Depressing realization because I was a shoe-in for the job. After this, I began frantically looking for a second job for this semester so that I can take time off after Baby is born.
• It was a blessing in one way because the job I didn't get would have meant getting out of lease, packing up and a move across the country, again. And, it would have meant working before and after having a baby (for about 8 weeks).
• Finding God in this job search / making a living thing is hard when you eff up so dramatically. Because really, there's no blaming Him for forgetting the Crucial Document. No Divine Intervention, just Maria Needs to Sleep More.
• After a couple of weeks of sweating and emailing and applying for non-academic jobs everywhere, I may have a campus marking job. Which may turn into work in other semesters, while in or out of school.

All that said, I suppose I could still thank God that I forgot to include CD, even if it wasn't DI and simply MNtSM. I think that move after classes ended before classes started in another province might have driven our family nuts.

So, the big question is. All of this scraping for jobs, scrounging for funding and bursaries to live on... where can I find God? Betty, a friend of mine from BC - before children - has a post about taking on stay-at-home motherhood as a vocation and leaving behind the so-called big fish. She writes:

But nothing releases you like motherhood, which is why, if my singular long-range goal is to go to Heaven, staying home with these babies has been the best path for me. I could put all my resources towards achieving one big dream or I could be expunged of a thousand little dreams each day and be emptied and ready, even if it feels like I'm treading water and waiting for whatever comes next.

It's such a beautiful and rare thing to approach someone you love, and find them ready and waiting for you.

I have to admit, this post of hers has been rattling about in my head for 2 weeks. If my singular long-range goal is to go to Heaven, what is the best path for me? I suppose this has been the Question for many years. At one point, I thought it was consecrated life, at another to be a stay-at-home mother, then another, to be a working single mother (after my life turned into that), and then, now, to be the academic spouse of a two-parent home and.... what?

I mean, if we figure that our talents should determine what we do, I'm kind of in the right place. But, I'm not sure if talents we currently have are the determining factor. For one, Betty has a beautiful writing talent. I've always known this, and always expected her to be writing successfully in some capacity. But, God's called her to something More Significant. I loved being a stay-at-home mom with Peanut when she was small. I assume I'll be a good stay-at-home mother again when our next daughter is born. In fact, maybe I'll keep my house tidy this time. But, if I hadn't stayed at home with her, I might not have known what those talents were. It was a time of investing in talents. Grad school has been like that from time to time as well. Determining what is More Significant, when the choice is upon me at various stages (after having a baby, after getting married, after getting pregnant a second time, after losing a job opportunity for being an idiot - see above) hasn't been easy.

In truth, I suppose I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. If we let God determine our children, and keep working toward academic and career goals that we have, it is a life a little bit complicated but one that we both still feel called to. And, as such, we give up the opportunity to be home full-time with our children (Husband is now home part-time with one and I'm still lugging around the other). And we have back-up plans. Not unlike what Anastasia was talking about here. Ours consist of government jobs with nice benefit packages and topped up maternity leaves and popping out as many children as is feasible; or moving to Australia or some other country where Husband's profession is highly respected and well-paid; or moving to Northern Canada to be postal workers or school teachers. Oh, there are others, but you get my drift. Honestly, I would be happy doing any of those and likely at peace.

But, I feel like God's brought us here for some work and here's where we toil and find beauty for now. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Conferencing

My proposal was accepted.

But... they want me to be a part of a Discussion session of some sort. We present a 3-minute synopsis of our work, and then we (6 people) Discuss for an hour.

I don't really know what this means exactly. But I'll take it.

Alright, Monday

I'm drafting another post about...well, you'll see. But, for now I'm too busy to work on that.

I am serving my students with a quiz on Frankenstein today and haven't prepped the test yet and I also have to grade one helluvalota essay outlines before 4. I've been in the office, but just gearing up to do this stuff.

Here goes nothing.

eta: got frankenstein test written.. just need to head over and made heaps of copies of this and a few other things. and prep my mini lecture for Frankenstein for today.

then correcting... oy.

-

end of day recap:

got test prepped
got lecture done
got printing done
got copying done (rubrics, etc)
wrote/sent job letter for a small job on campus (marking)

students did test
corrected test
reviewed test
gave lecture on genre

came home
opened valentine's day mail from grandparents with Peanut
opened thoughtful gift from Husband :)
he had nothing to open, I took him for tapas last night and got a sitter for our evening
opened our cloth diapers package to see how they look - and they seem pretty great!

Husband is bathing Peanut as I type this, I'll go read her a story and he'll do the rest while I am forcing myself to get my grading done tonight.

Just heard "Mommy?" from upstairs, and that's my cue.

Advisor questions

My advisor still hasn't gotten my proposal back to me with comments. Monday will be two weeks since I sent it. Wednesday will be two weeks since he acknowledged receiving it. When I meet with him, I always get good feedback and constructive advice. However, I feel like this is a long time to wait for 10 pages double spaced plus a bibliography.

I sent him a proposal which is due today last night on the off chance he'd have a chance to look at it. I don't expect to hear from him unless he doesn't think I should be presenting at any conferences right now. And... of course, there's also the big "if" of "if he'll check his work email on a Friday night or Saturday morning." So, again, I don't expect to hear from him about this. I sent it sort of with a wish and a prayer that it will get some comment before I send it.

It's kind of a complicated topic and I don't know for sure if I've presented it well. I mean, I wrote it yesterday. Really wishing I had someone to look over things like this with me. And wondering if this is the kind of thing my advisor would normally do. With more notice of course. I don't have any false notions that the conference proposal was enough sent with enough notice.

So.. the advice I'm looking for, from my one reader and any lurkers out there, what is normal advisor behaviour? What can and should I expect from my advisor? Is there a certain turn around time for these things? Is it possible that he's just this busy? Is it possible that he's just not concerned that I'm behind? Is it possible he's spiting me because I was meant to get my proposal done last semester?

I hope not.

trying out

if you're testing out an idea from your dissertation at a conference, it makes sense to be up front about it while you're there. But does it make sense to refer to your dissertation outside the biographical blurb of a proposal?

why do I do this?

Deadline for a conference, tomorrow. I had already told myself I wouldn't worry about it when I first saw the poster.

I see it again today and decide since my possible external reader will be there, it might be a good idea to attend.

I start writing it today after seeing a fellow grad student defend her dissertation and become a Doctor.

I have 51 too many words, and the argument is spotty. It's basically a chance for me to figure out One Very Important Part of my dissertation. If I get accepted it will force me to work.

And yet, all I can think about before revising and re-editing, is that while I know my husband and daughter will be here shortly to pick me up, I have to blog about it so that I can keep myself on track a little bit better for next time.

waiting is the hardest part

I sent in the proposal on Monday morning. I bump into him on my way to teach at 4 asking if he received it, he shakes his head. Nope, nothing in the inbox. I say I'll resend after class. I do.

Wednesday comes by, and I send it yet again, asking if the attachment worked the second time. He responds to a message that had been sent to his spam folder with my proposal. Spam filtering at our school is pretty strict.

So, he says he got it.

How long do I wait?

--

In other news, Husband is busy applying for a program, I'm still waiting to hear about a job I applied for which they said they would be filling within one month of the posting, and the cough I've had since Christmas is getting worse. Doctor says I've caught another virus and that I just have to wait it out. Fever, coughing, can't sleep. Now, Husband is on his way to the daycare to pick up Peanut because she has a fever too high to stay at preschool. It was pj and movie day so I'm hoping that she got to enjoy some of that. Otherwise, it shall be a Dora Snow Princess marathon. Which reminds me, I am SO glad that our public library has DVDs like Dora. We wouldn't be the types to buy Dora episodes, but this is the first tv show that P. has been interested in. Ever. Well, aside from Signing time. So it allows us to indulge that on weekends and when we need to make supper. Man, does this kid ever need a sibling. Glad one is arriving in a little over 3 months.

I'll send it.. soon

So, I finished my proposal and now I'm sitting here knitting my daughter a scarf. I have to send the draft to my advisor but I want to look it over once more before I do but I'm kind of afraid of what I'll find with my medium to fine toothed comb.